It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength when Disappointments Leave You Shattered

"We see that all harsh realities aren't the end, but rather a temporary middle space. Not the place where we are meant to wallow and dwell. Rather the place through which we will have to wrestle well." - p.9 

Greetings! It's been a long time. 

There have never been a day when I don't think about how things could have been different. How I could make things different. Where I wonder where life would take me, and what kind of action should I make so that I can feel good about myself and escape the vicious circle of overthinking, where 'this is because you are not good enough'. It all started when I get into college, and still going on to this day, as if I have awoken my preconsciousness to the surface. It's hard when you expect too much of yourself, when you are somewhat aware that you are not in position to fulfil those expectations. 

I believe what I tell you is somewhat relatable to some of you. I know a few friends who could say that they understand me, because for all that I know, they went through worse. Dedicating my writing to those fellow friends, I would like to compose a few thoughts about this book I found when I thought badly of life. It is called "It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength when Disappointments Leave You Shattered" by Lysa Terkeurst. 

From the title you could already tell that the book mostly talks about hardships, struggles, and disappointments, taking from quite a religious perspective. It tells Lysa's very own journey of faith and daily disappointments, with grit, vulnerability, and loss. From my point of view, it talks about how life is God's scenario, and in every play there would be problems and conclusion, otherwise there would be no climax that you see in movies that everyone is waiting for. Wether the ending will be a happy one or a bad one depends on how you reflect and act towards your disappointments. Afterall, disappointments are an inevitable part of life. 

My personal way of facing disappointments would be first absorbing them into my thoughts and feelings, who's with me? Absorb every single bit of them until there's none left. Then I would think about how that makes me feel. Because being aware to your feelings could make the healing process easier. "To deny my feelings any voice is to rob me of being human," (I'm a hundred percent agree, madame!) "But to let my feelings be the only voice will rob my soul of healing perspectives with which God wants to comfort me and carry me forward". This is where our faith matters, how strong we stand with our religion and believe that God never give trials beyond our abilities. God says we could get through this, and that God would lead us, so why decide not to?

After becoming aware of my thoughts and feelings, I would reflect on them. Seeking the bright side of the situation. In every disappointments, there are gifts, if you reflect on it enough. It could make us stronger and wiser than before. They could grow you, shape you, soften you."We live in a broken world where broken things happen. So it's not surprising that things get broken in our lives as well. At least when things are broken, there's some hope you can glue the pieces back together," said Lysa.
And when you finally accept the situation, don't ever look back and hold grudges. You should move on with your life and that way, a new door opens. 

In one point of our life, there would be times where things are tough and leave us questioning where could have God gone to? Most of us would say, it's not supposed to be this way. And where things are rough and we couldn't handle it on our own, some of us would succumb on our fears and anxieties, instead of trying to seek help from others by simply talking about it, even if that would make us seem vulnerable. Sometimes it's okay not to look strong at all times, nobody would look down on you for that. I wouldn't be too proud to say that things are always going on well, because there's no fun in that, isn't it? 

When someone talked about their problems to me, I always wanted to say "thank you for being honest and vulnerable with me". But I'm not the type to express all my feelings to others so... yeah :) My point is, you're not alone and you never will be if you seek for someone. But at least, God is always with you. 

... anyway. 

I would perfectly recommend this book to you who wouldn't mind taking on your tough times, disappointments and anxieties in a religious way. This could be the right book for you. 

⭐4/5